Riding on impulse!

Jakarta traffic can be as unpredictable as London weather.

They were cruising along to Soekarno-Hatta airport in Jakarta well ahead of time, managed to reach the last mile 30 minutes ahead of schedule. The domestic terminal, the cargo terminal and the flights that were approaching the boarding gates were the familiar scenes that told them they had almost reached the airport. They had successfully avoided long weekend rush hour traffic that everyone had warned them about. Now it was time to let the hair down and crack some jokes.

After a few rounds of long winded office jokes, the worry-wheel guy said in a concerned tone, 'Guys, we haven't moved an inch in last ten minutes.'

Laughter dampened but to reassure everyone the tech-guy opened google maps, punched in some keys and said, 'We will reach in 7 minutes. I have always used Google map. Never got it wrong.' And he started his next joke.

The worry-wheel lost his interest in jokes and started looking outside nervously. He noticed some Ojeks - Indonesia's traditional two wheeler taxis amidst large swanky cars.

The well-planned guy double checked his e-boarding pass and said to himself, 'I don't even have a check-in luggage. Even if I reach 45 mins later, it is OK.'

The sleepy-impulse guy was snoring all this while. As the vehicle didn't move for a while, he woke up. He saw the tech-guy telling a familiar joke, the well-planned guy pretending to listen and the worry-wheel looking outside with the usual worrisome look.

He asked the worry-wheel, 'Whats up, dude?'

'These Ojeks are picking up passengers from taxis and dropping them to airport. Perhaps, those who are about to miss their flights. They must be charging a bomb.' The worry-wheel replied.

'Not everyone knows how to use technology to their advantage like us. We will be there well ahead of time says Google', the tech-guy proudly glanced at his Google maps again and reassured.
'Dude, what if Google is wrong', asked the worry-wheel meekly.
'Google is never wrong', the tech-guy was so authoritative that the discussion ended abruptly.
'Besides, we have already done the web-check in. We had the called the cab. Estimated the time, planned the route. Everything is going as per our plan', the well-planned guy was quite sure. He also showed his bar code boarding pass proudly.
'In case the airport security doesn't accept this, I have also taken a print out' , said the worry-wheel to reassure himself.
The impulse-guy paid scant attention as he was watching the Ojeks.
'... And let me guess, you haven't done any of these things, right?', the well-planned guy asked a pointed question to the impulse-guy.
The impulse-guy smiled sheepishly and said, 'Well, it didn't occur to me.'
'He is not even on the same flight as us. Because he forgot to book the flight. I wonder how he can do that', the worry-wheel supplied the crucial but uncomfortable information to the group.

Everyone was aghast. The impulse-guy was non-chalant.
'You are bound to miss your flight', the worry-wheel was quite concerned.
'What do you mean by didn't occur to me? Don't you plan?' the well-planned guy was infuriated by that weirdly insane comment.
'Didn't you miss your flight three months back too?', the tech-guy was sarcastic.
'Well, I decided to go to Bangkok instead of Singapore last time', said the impulse-guy unconvincingly.

'Aren't you worried? What are you going to do now?' the quintessential worry-wheel.
'I have never done this before. It would be an unique experience', the impulse-guy was talking about riding the Ojek amidst traffic that resembled a parking lot. 'It would be fun!' He exclaimed and in a flash got out of the cab and waved at an Ojek.

'There is no reason to do this. Everything is going as per our plan. He is not running away from taxi but running away from making a good plan', the well-planned guy said.

'He is taking undue risk', exclaimed the worry-wheel.

'He is the biggest non-tech guy, I have ever seen. He doesn't even know what on-line check-in means', the tech-guy was really irritated.

They dismissed his maverick ways and resumed their discussions.
(30 minutes, 6 jokes and 100 meters later)
'We couldn't have planned for such scenario. I mean we were at the airport entrance 45 minutes ahead of schedule still we haven't managed to reach the terminal', the well-planned guy was irritated beyond consolation.

'Oh my god! Google is not predicting the arrival time now. May be the signal in this area is weak. What do we do now?' as google stopped communicating the tech-guy panicked.

'I knew this would happen', the worry-wheel had nothing else to add.
(In the flight)
'It was a great experience. The bike pierced through rows of stationary cars. Then this guy took a detour in paddy fields on an unpaved road. He honked at the cars that strayed on the shoulder-that was his lane. Then he entered the airport through parking and dropped me off at arrivals. He took a lot of money but the experience was worth it. I could have caught my flight like my colleagues too but this bike ride was great fun', the impulse-guy was talking enthusiastically to a co-passenger sipping on his orange juice.
You never know what you are gonna get when you ride on your impulse!

Calculus of Life

As I sit on the eve of 31st Dec 2015, looking back on how the year went by, counting the moments of happiness, sadness and missed opportunities, comes a growing realization that life so clear in the hindsight. Now that I have gone past those moments I am able to recount and relive them and interpret them accurately. . Some moments were moments I would cherish for lifetime, there were some moments that gave me instantaneous joy  but they don’t mean much now. And then there were those heart warming moments, where the details are hazy but just thinking about them brings a smile.

2015 was certainly a happy year for me personally. I published my first book, bonded well with my family, I took some time off when my parents needed me the most and I also strengthened the relationship with my friends. By any yardstick, I should be a very happy person. Yet I feel there was something amiss. Wisdom coming from hindsight tells me I could have been even more happy and peaceful if I did a few things differently.

I probably didn’t live some moments right. There were many moments where I should have been happier but I wasted those moments either worrying, brooding, being overburdened, being pessimistic, being bothered or simply being anxious. “Happy moments don’t last forever”, I thought to myself as I lived through them. Had I shut my divergent thinking just for that moment I would have been able to live that moment much better and would have emerged much happier, much more upbeat and most importantly much more peaceful.

There were sad moments too. I had lived most of them pretending to be unaffected or trying to smile or trying my best to negate my feelings. Today when I look back at  those moments, I realize that it wasn’t just me but everyone around me was sad and all of us held back our tears. I shouldn’t have held back mine. I should have expressed my sadness to everyone around. I now realize that there is no shame in crying when you are sad, it actually fills your heart with a lot of peace when tears empty out the sadness. Being sad together is also a great bonding experience.

As I was thinking about the complexities of life, I was reminded of the concept of calculus. I distinctly remember the introduction to Calculus class. Our professor drew a random curve on the board and asked us calculate area under the curve. Obviously, we struggled and could not come up with any sensible approach. Then he introduced the concept of Integration. In this approach, the curve is divided into infinitesimally small slices, each of which could be considered as a rectangle. Then we could calculate area of each rectangle by using a very simple formula. We then added back area of each rectangle to get the area under the curve. He ended the lecture saying,”if you calculate area of each rectangle correctly, your final answer can’t go wrong”.

An apparently insurmountable problem could be solved by dividing it in infinite slices each of which was very easy to solve. I think this applies to our life too. Life is curve with unknown equation. If we try to live under the curve by trying to solve its equation it seems quite hard. But if you make a infinitesimally small thin slice of the life called moment, living through it could be easier than calculating area of a rectangle. Living the moment right means expressing the joy when you are happy and letting the tears roll when you are sad. Like my professor said, if I live every moment correctly how can my final answer go wrong?

My only resolution in 2016 is to master Calculus of life by living every moment right!!

Why Do Indians Hate Biased Reporting? - An Open Letter to Rajdeep Sardesai

Dear Rajdeep,

How do you sleep in the night? What is your agenda? Do you think you can drive it blatantly when you are losing credibility every second? Yes, I am talking about intolerance reports about Shahrukh Khan!

Just to clarify, I am not a die-hard SRK fan, nor am I a blind BJP voter. I have voted for congress when they made sense, supported TDP when they talked about better governance. Yes, once upon a time I was your fan and Pranav Roy's fan when you put news in front of us with balanced analysis. But now, forget the analysis even your questions are biased.

There was no need to bring up intolerance issue - which in any case is a media-made issue- to the birthday boy. What personal perspective would SRK have on intolerance? Most of the people he meets everyday would only savour their meeting as lifetime experience and probably not wash the hands he shook for weeks. Did you see the pictures SRK released on his FB? Thousands of people gathered outside Mannat just to see him from a distance and wave to him. He knows he could not be where he is if India was intolerant. It was very cunning of you to slip in this question amidst all personal questions.

I have seen the telecast interview multiple times. While SRK was answering intolerance it appears that he is actually referring to impatience among youth world over. He makes an oblique remark that the non-secular noises have grown slightly - just a little bit ( halakasa - just in case you prefer hindi) Then he narrates how they celebrate Eid and Diwali etc. His message was quintessentially that of unity, respecting all religions to become superpower. I felt it was quite a positive message which you chose to twist and report as growing intolerance.

Rajdeep, I had never believed that your reporting was biased till I saw you in action in Madison square. You were out there instigating people with the intention of getting beaten up to improve TRP. That was a lowly act. Dadri incident is condemnable, the mob has no right to kill person. One needs to understand cow in rural India's context. In rural India, unlike rest of the world, cows are not reared for meat. They have status equivalent to a pet in the house. Cows and Bulls have pet names, kids and women-folk talk to them, cows are fed with the same food. Cows make Bulls that are work animals, loved like pets so you don't eat them. Simple. Ask a dog owner or cat owner what they would feel if their pet meets similar fate - you will have your answers. I am a Hindu, I don't eat beef, nor do I support the ban, nor do I like to be mocked or questioned about my food choices. You want eat beef go ahead, don't tell me that I am a fanatic if I don't eat it.

Rajdeep, most precious thing a reporter has is credibility, faith that general public puts on them for unbiased reporting. By this biased reporting you are creating Hindu-Muslim divide in the country. There are many who just reacted to the report rather than seeing the entire interview and started spewing venom against each other - which is probably what you wanted. People like you are the threat to secularism in the country. Its high time you stop doing this, may be take a break, travel around multiple countries to see what intolerance actually is. Today you may have more money than when you started but you have lost your credibility so you are bound to die poor unless you mend your ways.

In shudhdha Hindi - sudhar ja abhi bhi vakt hai |

We Indians are tolerant, we forgive those who change for better.

- V
A face in Indian crowd

The Path to Legendary Success

Last weekend turned out to be the most musically charged weekend of my life so far. I went for two live musical concerts of two female singers back to back. Both of them were immensely talented, sang similar type of songs and managed to win our hearts in contrasting styles. Both concerts were quite similar and contrasting at the same time.

First one was Asha Bhosale concert, the other one was Ketaki (and Suvarna) Mategaonkar concert. Mother tongue of both singers was same as mine - Marathi. Both of them had started singing at very young age. Asha Bhosale was performing perhaps for the last time in Singapore as she had declared that she may not be doing live concerts anymore. For Ketaki, it was her first concert in Singapore. Asha Bhosale , 82, wowed the audience by singing songs like a teenagers and Ketaki, 21, a teenager herself, impressed us by singing mature songs way beyond her age. The audience was blown away to see Ashaji stand and sing for over two hours,  at that age. I heard most of the people around me murmur that they were sure that at 82, they would neither be able to sing nor stand for two hours, leave alone doing both together.  In contrast, young, energetic Ketaki sang sitting down in traditional style for over two hours. Both of them were true to their art form in contrasting style. Songs they sang were similar, the way they connected with audience and made them feel part of the show was similar. Another of similarity was towering presence of their families throughout the performance. Ketaki sang with her mother and her father anchored the show and played keyboard at the same time.  While Ashaji kept talking endlessly about her illustrious family, her elder sister Lata Mangeshkar, her father Deenanath Mangeshkar and her siblings. Contribution of their families to their art and the success they had achieved was felt strongly by us. Both of them ruled the audiences' hearts but heeded to their 'once-more' requests at the same time. We were thoroughly entertained by both these artists.

Two days after the concerts, as I look back, thing that is stuck in my mind is something that Ashaji said about her profession. Once she was asked by a reporter what would she had become if she hadn't become a singer. Her answer was touching. She had said that she would have become an ordinary woman who cooks, cleans and takes care of her husband and kids as she didn't know anything else other than music. Singing was in born, it was in genes, it wasn't a thought through career option. Ashaji didn't evaluate any other option over singing. May be due to the situation combined with talent nothing else really came close. Perhaps when she started her career and sang her initial songs for less Rs. 100 per song, she may not have known that she would become an all time great singer, she may not have foreseen that she would be called The Last Empress and loved all over the world. In real life, there are no road-signs that tell you how successful you are or whether you are headed in the right direction or how fast you are going or where you are likely to reach. If you are talented, bold enough to follow your heart and work with passion you may become a legend.

Whether Ketaki becomes a legend or not or for that matter anyone of us becomes a legend in our field or not only time will tell. But Ashaji has certainly shown us a path to Legendary Success!

Parenting the Parents - II

When my son was about 3-4 years old he loved the cartoon series "Thomas and Friends". This was a cute series in which there were a number of railway engines eager to take more work from their boss - The fat controller and complete them despite all challenges. All of them wanted to be praised and patted by The fat controller who seemed to have just one criteria, who was the most useful engine. Each engine had a different persona, Thomas was the friendliest and most liked, Percy was his best friend - always watchful,supporting Thomas, James was a proud achiever so on and so forth. The bottom line was despite all their differences all them wanted to perform to their best and be the most useful engine. When my son was a fan of this show, he would feel happy if we tell him things he could do. He would always insist on carrying a small bag which he could pull himself when we traveled together. He would love watering the plants or finding my cell phone and retrieving it for me. I still don't know if this need was induced by watching the serial or the serial was made based on this basic need in kids to be useful to their parents.

My son grew out of Thomas a while ago but the basic idea of the show still lingers in my mind. 'Being useful to your near and dear ones' Does it really make you happy? Is this such an important need to have? Was it just a kids entertainment show or was it a deep human need manifested in that show? I didn't know. I wasn't really sure about this till last month.

In last few months, I had to spend a considerable amount of time with my parents by myself - no wife, no son.  My parents needed my help and I had to set aside all my meetings, client engagements and all work related things to be with them. That was the first time I realized my parents are getting old and they need help in small mundane things. I arranged their stationary drawer for them. Filed some old bills and documents for my father. Helped him copy phone numbers from old diary to new. Helped my mom do pest control based on home remedy column in local newspaper. I took her for grocery shopping, let her choose what she wanted, carried her bags. I took her to her favorite flour mill, rather than asking her to by atta from a supermarket. Now a day, when I go back to India, I don't feel like bargaining, yet I bargained with vegetable and fruit vendors the way she likes, just to make her happy. Drove around my father to do his errands, which he normally does himself. To my surprise, this made me tremendously happy. I wasn't excited, I wasn't longing for more but it was a calm and contended happiness that filled my mind.

By the time I was ready to leave for Singapore, I could feel invisible tears in their eyes. Their voice was hoarse and their hands were shaky. In past twenty years, I had taken my parents to a lot of fun places. I had taken them on a 3 day cruise, some exotic destinations and fun places. I had taken them to nice restaurants, nicer movies and plays but I had never seen this expression on their face. In all my previous trips they would tell me to take care, do well, succeed and take care of grandchild. But this time they said they will miss me. They were fighting their tears back and so was I. For the first time in so many years they said they would miss me!!

I was moved beyond my imagination as I got into the cab.

Moments of peace and sight of green fields on backdrop of hazy grey mountains helped me round it all together. In last few days, I helped them in everything they did. Didn't create excitement or enjoyment in their lives but just made their life a bit easier. I was useful for them. It not just made them miss me but also made me happy. It was as if some unknown void was filled. Tears rolled down my cheeks but my mind was filled with calm happiness.

I realized that I had become their Thomas engine for a while. That is when I realized the joy of being the Thomas Engine!!

(If you have missed earlier part I click here - http://vivekvaidya.com/parenting-the-parents/)